Thursday, June 29, 2006

I Wanna Be Big And Let Go of This... (I feel like a Drama Queen....you don't have to read this)

"Hear that lonesome whippoorwill?
He sounds too blue to fly.
The midnight train is whining low:
I'm so lonesome I could cry."

Aw, man. Jené makes me sad about things. Not on purpose, I just start to think about things and then they all cycle into something way bigger than they are and by blowing them out of proportion, I make myself even sadder. More sad? Sadder...? I don't know.

(I thought that this was ironically relevant to my life and my problem not the "problem" I'm going to schpeil about, but my actual problem:
"I've never seen a night so long,
When time goes crawling by.
The moon just went behind a cloud,
To hide its face and cry.")

Did you know?: Scottie only considers herself to have six real, good friends.
Did you know?: That's Erin, Holly, Jené, Nick L(the attractive one), Lydia, and Claire.
(One more) Did you know?: Why?

Why: They are the only people who can speak to me with even an ounce of sincerity. I mean, there are people who I'll say are my friends and I love hanging out with them, they're great. But they don't really talk to me. They talk to me about general, non-personal things, and that's fine. But my REAL friends actually have conversations that aren't just to end in hysterical laughter.

"Did you ever see a Robin weep,
When leaves begin to die?
That means he's lost his will to live.
I'm so lonesome I could cry."

I hate the fact that I only have six friends. And I think it's kind of funny that I've known Jené, Claire and Nick for such a short amount of time and I can place them above so many others priority-wise. It's cool. But still a little weird. I less than three you guys. (<3) Oh, and it's fine if you don't count me as the same.


Oh yeah. And in case you were wondering, the problem I was talking about was insomnia. I have seriously gotten less than fifteen hours of sleep this week. I clocked it. I don't know how I am still running and I don't know how long it's going to last. 'Cause I try not to eat sugar. It is very temporary energy, and it just goes straight to fat, but yeah. I try not to eat it, so I am relying on my trips to Starbucks once a week to keep me up. I got more sleep last week, but it wasn't a significantly longer time. The weird thing is, once and a while, I'll sleep in really late instead of waking up at five like I usually do. (I get to bed at about Midnight, I fall asleep at around 3 according to my clock.) I hate this!

This post was soooo bipolar. Maybe even more like tripolar. I'm happy and goofy, I'm super-sad, and I'm sincere.....oh, and then I'm whiny.

"The silence of a falling star,
Lights up a purple sky.
And as I wonder where you are,
I'm so lonesome I could cry.
I'm so lonesome I could cry."
-Johnny Cash

--Scottie: Here, read this MXPX song!
Get Me Out
I don't wanna move, I just wanna lay here
Shaky hands, sweaty sheets, can't get my mind in gear
My legs went numb 3 hours ago
Blank stare, don't care what you think you know
Get me out!
I'm feeling around, alone in the dark
Can't find the switch, all I need is a spark or a match
To find a way out, just a sliver of light
I'll crawl and I'll fight and I'll scratch and I'll bite
Get me out!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Do, do, do, do, do you wanna (take my quiz?)

The correct answer is yes. Now take it! Give it to everyone you know! EVERYONE! Even you 20 lb cats! Well, maybe not them......








--Scottie: She's So Sick, infected with where she lives. (Flyleaf. Yes.)

Monday, June 26, 2006

These Friends Are, New Friends Are Golden

I love these picture booth things. They're expensive, though, so I have only done them twice. Here they are!

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Like A Big Shot Talent...

Well, I know that this Nick doesn't read my blog, but here's a picture inspired (as always) by a story Jené told me. :) You'll have to turn it on its side, though. The actual picture is too big for photobucket so rather than resizing it, I am giving it to you sideways.

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Enjoy.

--Scottie: You Know Where She Comes From

Monday, June 19, 2006

I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity

"And every word you say, say something sweet. 'Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth."

Hurrah for malls. My friends provide, for me, a temporary escape from reality. With them, it's not that I'm not still a freak, but they accept it. I know that I'm weird, I'll acknowledge it. But when I come home, it's back to Mary the weird kid. I hate it. I hate myself sometimes. I'm not going to go into the specifics of why I feel this way at this particular time because I have to eat before I go to work at six. It would take too long.

Well, since Jene is the only one who was there and reads my blog, Yay! Marley Station sucks, but the elevator is fun. Yes. Totally.

"Don't wanna recognize when things go bad."

Conor got his permit thingy from the stupid DMV today. So he's all, *excitement*. Grr. I'm mad at him. Not because of that, but because he had to go TODAY! THe most inconvenient of all days. Psh.

I don't feel like changing. I have to, though. Bu not yet. I'll go eat dinner, then come change, take some crap out of my purse so I can fit my giant Stephen King four-novel-book thing in there. Yep.

"Spaceman that can't get hi-i-igh."

Peace out.
Later.

--Scottie: Every Inch You See Is Bruised

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

You may forget me. I promise to depart.

"areyouinorareyouout? youcan'twineitherway," he said.
"butthefallwillbefantasticandwhat'sleftisnothinglessthanperfection"

Hypochondria. It sucks. I'm definitely a victim. I've often spent long periods of time debating whether or not I have a terminal disease. I've concluded that I have either inherited a genetic disorder or I have cancer. I have good reason to believe both. More so for cancer. So I'm asking you this:

If I were to die tomorrow, what would you say? What would you do? I'm just curious.

On a happier note, though, I have a fabulous solution to my confinement to one county. If anybody wants to plan an event or outing or something (Other than The Cause thing. That's the one exception,) they need to plan it in or near Anne Arundel County. I realize that if I ever planned something in my town, it would suck, so I wont even try. But a trip to Marley Station Mall is surprisingly fun, considering how small the mall actually is. Seriously. That's my mall. I know a ton of people that work there.

I get my schedule for my job at the library today, and my schedule for my job at Flynn & O'Hara Thursday. Yep. I don't think I am working very much there, though. They hired a lot of teenagers. I'll be working more in August 'cause people are coming to get uniforms around that time. The library is probably going to be 4-6 hours a week so that's easy peasy. Unfortunately, it's not for pay, so I am just getting hours for school. When you need 40 per year, this is what you gotta do. The uniform place is paying me, though. Lalala...?


--Under the summer rain I burnt away. You turned away. Listen. I can't make a sound or feel fine.
---Scottie: Don't speak my name!

Imionsna....I mean Insomnia

Went to sleep at 11:18 PM.

Woke up at 3:35 AM.

Not too concerned.

Concern: Woke up at 3:35 AM singing song about mango biscuits.

Can't fall back to sleep.

Painted nails.

Read a FarSide book.

Updated iPod.

Organized CDs.

Not very tired.


--Sctoeti.....er....Scottie

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Papa was a copper, Scottie Is a Hippie.

This is random. I just wrote down some things that I think about.

I think you need to live and let live. I think you need to stop imposing your beliefs and customs on other people. I think you need to stop telling people what to do. I think you need to respect others. I think you need to march to the beat of your own drummer(no matter how crappy their rhythm is). I think you need to stop complaining. I think you need to work out of your own problems. I think you need to speak your mind. I think you need to criticize only yourself. I think you need to know that you can always be better. I think you need to know that you can always be worse, too. I think you need to know that what you think matters. I think you need to enjoy life. I think you need to enjoy it at your expense and not someone else's. I think you need to be unique just like everyone else (despair inc.). I think you need to stop worrying. I think you need to stop conforming. I think you need to stop hurting people. I think you need to pay attention. I think you need to be spontaneous. I think you need to accept what you don't like or don't approve of. I think you need to stop living in the past. I think you need to find someone you can talk to about anything. I think you need to unwind. I think you need to change yourself for your own benefit (I don't want to change you. I want you to want to change yourself. I want you to strive for perfection, no matter how cheesy it sounds). That's what I think.

I don't know why I did that. I got bored. Pretty much.

Now read these totally cool quotes:

"Wake up now it's over...
just tell me it's ok to die"
-Hawthorne Heights

"Did you ever see a robin weep
When leaves being to die?
That means he's lost the will to live.
I'm so lonesome I could cry."
-Johnny Cash

"I'm nearly out of this trance."
-Diana Wynne Jones

"He has much knowledge. We shall form a cult around him. Build a statue, many stories high. Grow our hair long and stop bathing."
-Amy Sherman-Palladino

"Scottie Hates You! Have A Nice Day"
-Mary Scott


Somebody call me or IM me or something about mini-golf.
-Scottie: Pictures Fade Away. I hope you never fade. As you drift through my veins, shine on, Diamond Eyes.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

In Otha' Woids,

I DID IT! I DDDIIIIIDDD IT! I GOT THAT LAST DUMB NOTE OF MY SONG! You all may remember that in the Broadway Review, I always flaked on that last note of Adelaide's Lament. I just couldn't get it. I would cut it short and all, but at the Tea Behind the Grille, I GOT IT! I finally got the STUPID NOTES! (It's a run. I know, you didn't even know 'cause I never sang it that way.)

Okay, I'm done. So who knows of a decent miniature golf course that's kind of central to whoever is going? (Who is going? Who did we all want to invite?) I know of one place, but it's kind of only close to me. It's pretty cool, but I hate to make you all drive so long just to go mini-golfing. :\ Com-pli-cation. Yeah. Let me know. Tchya. The 12th is good for me either way.

--Scottie: Hold me. Yeah, hold on, just hold on. I'm here and I'm with you. I'm here too, I feel you. We'll get though. I know this. I've seen it a hundred times. A thousand times. Just one more time. With you and I. I'll pull you close and then we'll say goodbye. ((I LOVE Angels and Airwaves!))

Editing this. I HAVE NEW PICTURES!

For Jené. She's so exotic.
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My shirt says LONDON
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And yes. I am a NINJA!
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Thursday, June 01, 2006

What I Did Over My Summer Vacation

Mmkay. Here’s how it went down!

A group of the Children of the Corn involved in the Broadway Review were staying down at this house my family uses in Ocean City. The house was way too tiny to accommodate all of us, so a few met their demises withing the first week of this bizarre vacation.

Alli Quinn
Cause of Death: Drowning
Note: Fell into marsh behind house. Giant Dean Koontz cockroach got her.

Nick Langan
Cause of Death: Defenestration(Being thrown out the window).
Note: Pushed by the ‘attractive’ Nick L.

Within the next week of our visit, a great tragedy befell us. On an innocent trip to the beach down the road by the Greene Turtle, three more members of our group were lost.

Jenni Doty
Cause of Death: Lost at sea
Note: Floated away. O.o

Serena Palmer
Cause of Death: Lost at sea
Note: Dragged away with a bodysurfer by the tide

Maura Duffy
Cause of Death: Impalement
Note: Hit by a speed boat. Caught on motor.

As the rest of the group (at this point, it’s Me, Jené, Kirsten, Nick L, Dana, Vicki, and Conor. I don’t know what he’s doing there, but he was there) return to the house. It’s getting late and Vicki decides to make us dinner. Jené, Nick, Kirsten and I decide that it would be unsafe to eat Vicki’s cooking so we’re gonna hit the Greene Turtle. Tragedy strikes again.

Jené Andrews
Cause of Death: Roadkill
Note: Hit by a german 18 year old dressed fully in purple driving a semi/tractor-trailer type vehicle.

Returning to the house after our dinner, we find Dana watching TV and Conor is hiding in one of the rooms. In the kitchen:

Victoria Smith
Cause of Death: Concussion
Note: Clubbed by Conor with a saucepan.

Once I had disposed of Vicki’s body, we all watched the news until everyone fell asleep. Except me of course, because how else would we know what else happened that night? In the middle of the night (I am in true Elton John form!) there came, at the door, an obnoxious pounding. I get up and open the door to find Good Ol’ Cara Paul and Josie Iome! Thinking it would be extremely rude not to invite them in, they join our group.



The next day, the next tragedy. Turns out, I have crappy dulled judgment and Josie, who wasn’t really Josie but Stumpy Dowd or something, fled the house early in the morning out of guilt.

Conor Scott
Cause of Death: Suffocation
Note: Strangled with a mothball smelling, old-fashioned costume dress.

Dana Gullard
Cause of Death: Loss of Blood
Note: Stabbed to death by a certain Iome.

So the remainder of the group decided, that afternoon, to hit the mini-golf course. Not the greatest idea, we found. After being pursued by Scotsmen who were angry that we were taking so long on the golf courses, the first horror of that day:

Nick Lyle
Cause of Death: ???
Note: Pushed by Scotsman. Flew over putting green. Hit windmill. Sucked into hole under windmill.

Horrified, Kirsten, Cara and I return to the house. Cara soon leaves to visit her family and we do not hear from her again in this dream. On the last day of our traumatic vacation, the last tragedy strikes.

Kirsten Kidwell
Cause of Death: Possessed/Suicide
Note: Possessed by ghost of Alli. Slashed own throat.

I, Scottie, remained. I was the only one to survie this horrid trip to Ocean City. I advise that you never travel near that place with me. Unless you want this bizarre dream to become an even weirder reality.

--Scottie: Until Next Time.

200 Things That You May Not Know About Me

TeeHee. Sorry, I love Surveys. I had to do it!

200. My name is: Mary Scott

199. I was born on: February 5, 1992

198. I am a: Girl?

197. My hair colors are: Brown, soon to be brown with bright red streaks in it.

196. My eyes are: Brown

195. My shoe size is: 9

194. My ring size is: 9. Hah. I have fat fingers. NO MORE SALT FOR ME!

193. My pant size is: Um, I buy my pants at HotTopic. So, Small or Medium. XD OTherwise, I think it's like 10.

192. My height is: 5' 2"

191. I am allergic to: Kiwis.

190. I live in: Linthicum

189. The last book i read: Tick Tock

188. My bed is: Made?

187. One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex: They're tall...? :(

186. I am glad I'm my sex because: I can wear high heels.

184. My best friends are: Erin, Holly, Jess, Jené, John, Nick, GUY!

181. Three things I can never resist are: Shopping, Andrew McMahon, Those cool little photo-booth things that you can take, like four pictures.... they're fun!

179. My favorite pajamas are: Usually black yoga or gaucho pants and one of my twelve black Vanity Fair camis.

178. A perfect kiss is: Perfect?

176. Last song that made me cry was: "Everything Will Be Alright" by the Killers. I don't really like them, but hey. That's a good song.

173. I could not live without: Oxygen....and soap.

172. My most treasured possession is: My journal in which I write all of my poetry and keep all of my favorite pictures.

170. What did you do last night: Studied for exams, then talked to John for, like, three hours.

169. The funniest quote I know is: "Akiko, we will not be turned into mushrooms!" from Matango

168. The quote that sums it all up for me is: "Give up the grudge, you better shut your mouth, why you gotta judge everybody but yourself?" -Gob

167. My skin's reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): Taaan. Like, a supertan.

166. I do/don't believe in love: Not sure.

142. Love at first sight?: No

141. Luck?: No

140. Fate?: Yes

139. God?: Yes

138. Aliens?: No

137. Heaven?: Yes

136. Hell?: Yes

135. Ghosts?: Yes

134. Horoscopes?: No

133. Soul Mates?: Maybe

-Which is Better?-

129. Hugs or Kisses: That depends who it is! Probably hugs, though.

127. Phone or Online: The Phoooone.

126. Girls/Guys with/without Hats: I wear hats. :) Guys with hats are cool if their hats are. But if their hair is cool, then they shouldn't wear hats.

125. Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

122. Short or tall girls/guys: Taller than me. :)

120. Night or Day: Night

119. Oranges or Apples: Oranges

118. Short or long hair: In between

-Here's What I Think About... -

116. Abortion?: Equals Murder

115. Backstabbers?: Forget them

110. School?: A pain in the neck. But useful.

109. America?: Whatever. I'd rather be elsewhere.

107. Love?: If it's real, it sounds awesome. If it's just a made-up plot for people to be together, it's stupid.

106. Friends before Love?: Oh yeah.

-last time I...-

105. Took a shower: Last night.

104. Talked on the phone: At, like, 3:30.

102. Hugged someone: This morning

101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while: Um, I dunno. I can't remember. XD

91. I always ask: Huh? Y'all skipped 100-92!

90. The ditziest person I know: Adelaide! Kidding. SHe isn't real. Um, Becka.

89. The one person who makes me laugh the most is: Either Jené or John

88. Which celebrity or famous person are you in love with? *shining light* ANDREW MCMAHON!

87. what was this question?? Your mom?

83. The last movie I saw in the theater was: An American Haunting

82. The thing I dont understand is: The fascination with Ted Nugent. And Guys' trains of thought.

80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received is?: Nevermind. I hate when people say that.

79. The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: (Some of them) are Cuuuuuuute! No, I'm kidding. That's not the one thing I love. I love.....that they're all so confused most of the time. :)

78. This week I am: The TREND! No, I am finishing up finals and school. Last one's next Tuesday!

76. This summer vacation I am: Vacationing in my pool in my backyard and having pool parties.

75. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My room.

74. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: Making music videos this summer! MY PASSION!

73. Tomorrow: I am going shopping for a bathing suit!

72. Today: Starving to death and studying for French

71. Next Summer: I dunno.

70. Next Week: Finals Ending, hanging out with my friends, maybe going Mini-golfing?

67. People call me: Scottie. The Alpaca-herder In Chief as voted at the Drama Club meeting.

66. The person who I talk to the most on the phone is: John and Erin. At different times, obviously.

64. The person I have been friends with the longest is: Erin, Rynn and Holly, I think.

62. The person who knows the most about me is: You guessed it! Erin!

61. The person/people who can read me the best is/are: Holy crap. This is getting old. Erin and John.

60. The most difficult thing to do is? Obey or conform

59. I have/have not gotten a speeding ticket? No....I can't drive. But once in a freak golf cart accident I managed to catapult my brother from the cart and into a tree. That's one I'll have to tell you in person.

58. I have the following siblings: Conor. My brother. He BOTHERS me.

57. My favorite people are: Andrew McMahon and my previously mentioned friends.

56. My zodiac sign is: Aquarius

55. The first person I thought/think I was/am in love with was/is: I don't love anyone.

53. The one person I am hiding things from is: Um, usually nobody.

52. The person I find myself spilling my guts to is: My journal, my blog, my poems.

51. Right now I am talking to: John over AIM

48. I have a job at: Flynn & O'Hara

47. I have these pets: Three Dogs, Two Cats, One Fish, and a Dead Hamster.

46. I wish I was: Pretty. And smart.

45. The worst sound in the world is?: Dillon Lombardi's gay little voice.

44. The person that makes me cry the most is: People don't make me cry. Life does.

43. shoulder to cry on is: Um, there isn't one. I don't cry much. Only when it rains.

39. My boy/girlfriend is: Not "officially" my boyfriend.

34. My favorite state?: Wisconsin. :)

33. My favorite piece of clothing is: My Hawthorne Heights Hoodie

32. My favorite sport to play is: None. I dance. Tap dance.

29. What am wearing right now is: Emily the Strange Yoga Pants and my MXPX concert Shirt.

28. The school I go to is: Mount de Sales

27. The last person I pissed off was: My dad.

26. My worst drinking experience was: ...

24. The last movie I watched was: Jumanji. XD

22. The all-time best movie is: The Green Mile

21. The all-time best thing in the world is: Myself. No, um, my friends.

19. The most annoying thing ever is: The OC

17. I lose all respect for people who: Have no shame or self-respect.

16. The movies I have cried at are: The Fox and the Hound and Bambi.

11. The worst pain I was ever in was: When the dentist doing the filling forgot the novacain.

10. My favorite phrases: Pshaw; I know, right?; Well, there you go; &c.

9. My room is full of: Spray stuff from Bath & Body works and pictures of celebrities.

8. My favorite celebrity is: Andrew McMahon and Patrick Stump!!!

7. My favorite cliche is?: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

6. My downfall is?: Vanity.

5. My weakness is?: Charm

4. What turns me on is? I dunno.

3. I want this to end?: Sure. *dies*

2. I filled out 200 questions because?: No I didn't some were missing?!

1. Was it fun?: Sort of?


SO READ THAT! Get to know what people who write these things think is important. Let me tell you, this stuff is mostly crap.

--Scottie: She can describe herself without a survey.

Miniature Golf Security Guards? Whaaat?

Yes, well, who wants to hear about my totally rad dreams? I took a nap not too long ago and I saw the distinct deaths of some friends and enemies. All took place in Ocean City. I think I'll vacation in Luray.

I want to go miniature golfing! Who's with me?!

--Scottie: The word on the street is: I lost it.