One sunny day that winter gave up...

Edit 3: Whatever.

---"I'm sorry, I have to say it, but you look like you're sad. You're smile is gone. I noticed it bad. The cure is if you let in just a little more love. I promise you this: A little's enough."


Edit 2: Uhm, I'll just be repeating myself if I tell you what's going on. Jené has yet to actually call me. Psh. Yeah, well, Jené, if you happen to read this and it isn't past midnight tonight(Friday), call me still. I actually need to talk to someone. The second I walk away from my friends I'm unhappy. Maybe I AM depressed. My life just absolutely sucks right now.

"I want to crawl out of my skin, apologize for all I've been..."

Uhh, yeah. Call me so I can stop crying my damn self to sleep.

Edit 1: I didn't talk to Jene about it yet, but here's something else for you. I'm just unusually depressed. I mean, not "depressed" but not clinically depressed either. Just kind of stuck. I'm not happy. The things that usually would make me happy are just like, whatever, and I really don't care. And at work I have to be unconditionally friendly and cheerful towards people and it was the hardest thing in the world to do that. Okay, not the hardest, but it was difficult. I wrote this today at work when I was on break.

Am I dreaming?
Can you check?
Is it really this bad?
Should I really be this destroyed?
What was it?
What is it?
Why am I like this?
Wait, no.
I know exactly why.
I just wont count anymore.




Original post: I'm definitely going to either delete or edit this post tomorrow, but I want to talk to Jené first. O.o 'Cause that's what best friends are for. I'll just leave you with this kind of trailer:

Have you ever thought something was good, but then when you voice the thought to a group or to someone else, you instantly realize how horrible it is and you wish you'd never brought it up? You know that now that you've said it, you can't take it back because people's expectations are already raised and you have to meet them. You know that it's over for you because they have moved on for miles already because of what you said.

--Scottie: It was a terrible thing, it was a terrible thing to see her dying inside.

Chip-A-Chip Away Your Shell

Bleeehhh. I'm really bored. I'm still in my Flynn & O'Hara uniform. I got back here a whole hour ago. XP Silly me. Conor got yelled at by a customer today. Beth was helping the lady and Conor was helping someone nearby and Justin was bringing him a gym uniform and this lady goes over to them:

LADY: You don't have the skirt I need in my daughter's size!
JUSTIN: Oh, I'm sorry, but unfortunately we ARE a little short on some items because it's out busy season.
LADY: SO?!
CONOR: Whatever you need, our rep who's helping you can certainly order it for you.
LADY: BUT SCHOOL STARTS MONDAY!
CONOR: Well, we tell people to come in before July 15th to guarantee their orders in before school starts.
LADY: ......WHAT!? IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
CONOR: You know, excuse me, but I have to help my customer. I apologize. Beth can help you out, though.
JUSTIN: I'm on brake. *disintigrates*

Hahahah. I was at the register at the time, so I kind of missed it. I heard the lady's angry voice, but she was back at the dressing rooms so I didn't hear exactly what she was saying.

Lahlahlah...Show me, show me, show me a starry eyed kid. I, I, I will break his jaw.....good song.

Oodle Doodle, check this out. Jené's seen it already. http://61.107.1.124/winopen_ani/eggsong.htm Yes. I love it. I hate eggs, but I love the video. It's so cute.

So, that's it. I'm really, really bored, so I thought I'd post a new bloggy thing. Yeah. And I'm the Champ Onion (Champion, in otherwords). Remember that.

----ScottieScottie: The New Way To Navigate

"Maggots, Michael. You're eating Maggots. How do they taste?"

I made a "movie" finally. Well, I filmed it. I only started editing it. I found some really great background music and now I have to make a "scary" movie so I can use some of it. This one was a detective movie, part of my mini-series, and it was a treasure hunt one. :D It was about Detective Jenny((Holly))(Nothing to do with Jenni Doty, we made Det. Jen last summer before I knew Jenni. :D ) and she goes to visit her cousin Calypso((Erin XD)) who finds this note left in their great grandmother's diary and she goes to find the treasure....but I wont give it all away. It's way way way way better than the first one. :D And It's got better music. Well, It's got music. :D I actually got it off the Witch Hunter Robin soundtrack Rynn let me borrow once. I forget why I have it, I know how, just not why.....whatever.

I also got off of work next Friday and Saturday. WOOOO! :D

--Scottie: she's got a wild wild life. T.T

Do You Find Me Dreadful?

Hey, I found this poem I wrote last year. I have no clue why I wrote it, and no clue what I had in mind, but it sounds like I'm talking about something suicide related. ((No worries, I'm not quite suicidal, I mean that it's about the view of someone who may be.)) BUT, it does have some positive comparisons of life and love, so really, it's kind of an upper! Maybe....Sort of......You tell me!

Nothing's Not Real

Do they mean it?
What's up? Nothing.
What's goin' on? Nothing.
Who can distinguish,
From nothing and something?
If nothing's up,
Nothing happens.
They lie:
What's that? Nothing.
Whatcha doin'? Nothing.
Life is something.
Nothing is death.
Nothing's not something,
So nothing's not love.
Nothing is hatred.
Nothing is scars.
Nothing's reality.
Something is real.
Nothing's not something.
Nothing's not real.
--MRS'05


So guess who I ran into! JT and Dillan. Yep. Two of the brain-brigade that I hate with every fiber of my being. At least Dillan didn't try to talk to me. JT just decided to tell me I was incredibly rude. He's such an idiot. I hate him so much. ANd he's there being all nice to my friends and pretending to forget about the torment he put me through two years ago. He didn't even do the majority of the harassment. That was Dillan. Whatever. I could wring both of their little necks. So, yeah. I'm going to go get some sleep 'cause I work 10-5 again at Flynn & O'Hara tomorrow and I'm getting further into my dark place, right now.


Here's The Clincher, this should be you.


---Scottie: I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself. Know that I could crush you with my voice.