"Hear that lonesome whippoorwill?
He sounds too blue to fly.
The midnight train is whining low:
I'm so lonesome I could cry."
Aw, man. Jené makes me sad about things. Not on purpose, I just start to think about things and then they all cycle into something way bigger than they are and by blowing them out of proportion, I make myself even sadder. More sad? Sadder...? I don't know.
(I thought that this was ironically relevant to my life and my problem not the "problem" I'm going to schpeil about, but my actual problem:
"I've never seen a night so long,
When time goes crawling by.
The moon just went behind a cloud,
To hide its face and cry.")
Did you know?: Scottie only considers herself to have six real, good friends.
Did you know?: That's Erin, Holly, Jené, Nick L(the attractive one), Lydia, and Claire.
(One more) Did you know?: Why?
Why: They are the only people who can speak to me with even an ounce of sincerity. I mean, there are people who I'll say are my friends and I love hanging out with them, they're great. But they don't really talk to me. They talk to me about general, non-personal things, and that's fine. But my REAL friends actually have conversations that aren't just to end in hysterical laughter.
"Did you ever see a Robin weep,
When leaves begin to die?
That means he's lost his will to live.
I'm so lonesome I could cry."
I hate the fact that I only have six friends. And I think it's kind of funny that I've known Jené, Claire and Nick for such a short amount of time and I can place them above so many others priority-wise. It's cool. But still a little weird. I less than three you guys. (<3) Oh, and it's fine if you don't count me as the same.
Oh yeah. And in case you were wondering, the problem I was talking about was insomnia. I have seriously gotten less than fifteen hours of sleep this week. I clocked it. I don't know how I am still running and I don't know how long it's going to last. 'Cause I try not to eat sugar. It is very temporary energy, and it just goes straight to fat, but yeah. I try not to eat it, so I am relying on my trips to Starbucks once a week to keep me up. I got more sleep last week, but it wasn't a significantly longer time. The weird thing is, once and a while, I'll sleep in really late instead of waking up at five like I usually do. (I get to bed at about Midnight, I fall asleep at around 3 according to my clock.) I hate this!
This post was soooo bipolar. Maybe even more like tripolar. I'm happy and goofy, I'm super-sad, and I'm sincere.....oh, and then I'm whiny.
"The silence of a falling star,
Lights up a purple sky.
And as I wonder where you are,
I'm so lonesome I could cry.
I'm so lonesome I could cry."
-Johnny Cash
--Scottie: Here, read this MXPX song!
Get Me Out
I don't wanna move, I just wanna lay here
Shaky hands, sweaty sheets, can't get my mind in gear
My legs went numb 3 hours ago
Blank stare, don't care what you think you know
Get me out!
I'm feeling around, alone in the dark
Can't find the switch, all I need is a spark or a match
To find a way out, just a sliver of light
I'll crawl and I'll fight and I'll scratch and I'll bite
Get me out!
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2 comments:
Wow Scottie. I just want you to know that you are one of my best friends. I only have 2 people that I can really open up to. That's you and Maeve. I hope that makes you feel even the smallest bit better. I love you!
I less than three you too, MR Scot
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