Edit 3: Whatever.
---"I'm sorry, I have to say it, but you look like you're sad. You're smile is gone. I noticed it bad. The cure is if you let in just a little more love. I promise you this: A little's enough."
Edit 2: Uhm, I'll just be repeating myself if I tell you what's going on. Jené has yet to actually call me. Psh. Yeah, well, Jené, if you happen to read this and it isn't past midnight tonight(Friday), call me still. I actually need to talk to someone. The second I walk away from my friends I'm unhappy. Maybe I AM depressed. My life just absolutely sucks right now.
"I want to crawl out of my skin, apologize for all I've been..."
Uhh, yeah. Call me so I can stop crying my damn self to sleep.
Edit 1: I didn't talk to Jene about it yet, but here's something else for you. I'm just unusually depressed. I mean, not "depressed" but not clinically depressed either. Just kind of stuck. I'm not happy. The things that usually would make me happy are just like, whatever, and I really don't care. And at work I have to be unconditionally friendly and cheerful towards people and it was the hardest thing in the world to do that. Okay, not the hardest, but it was difficult. I wrote this today at work when I was on break.
Am I dreaming?
Can you check?
Is it really this bad?
Should I really be this destroyed?
What was it?
What is it?
Why am I like this?
Wait, no.
I know exactly why.
I just wont count anymore.
Original post: I'm definitely going to either delete or edit this post tomorrow, but I want to talk to Jené first. O.o 'Cause that's what best friends are for. I'll just leave you with this kind of trailer:
Have you ever thought something was good, but then when you voice the thought to a group or to someone else, you instantly realize how horrible it is and you wish you'd never brought it up? You know that now that you've said it, you can't take it back because people's expectations are already raised and you have to meet them. You know that it's over for you because they have moved on for miles already because of what you said.
--Scottie: It was a terrible thing, it was a terrible thing to see her dying inside.
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4 comments:
Yes... being a dreamer a say a lot of things that can't be taken back. I've also been depressed. The best solution is to completely alter the way you think about life, the universe, and everything.
-The Daemon of Lies, Beezle
I know this usually doesn't make a difference when people say this to someone who's depressed but... I want you to know that I love you. You know, not the lesbian way, but the best friend way. I'll see you on Monday! Come on. I'll call you tomorrow... Sunday. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I'm sorry for not calling earlier. I'll see you soon.
How German of you!
*dies* School. No. Bad. Tragedy of Life. 170 pages of the book to go.
--Scottie: Do you find me dreadful? What a shame such a sad disgrace.
I think the word you were looking for is "Melancholy."
I'm sorry about your melancholy, I hope you feel better. That's a cool poem, by the way.
But yeah, I know how you feel with the voicing of a thought and as soon as you say it it sounds stupid. I normally afterward say something like, "Or something" or "I know it's a stupid idea" or "Actually, nevermind" like directly afterward.
-- Lyle: still hasn't gone mini-golfing
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