JENE! This is all for you. Anybody is free to read it, though. It's important. *emo tears* I love you soooooooooooooooo much!!!!!! Even if "EVERYONE" everyone is being stupid and ditzy and whorish, you are one of the few people I know will be constantly decent. Please just trust that it's going ot be okay. Keep in mind that if these people deserve your love, they will redeem themselves. Otherwise, they aren't the peple you thought you knew and they aren't worth sticking with. I think I have to let everyone know that tomorrow. I think they need to know that they've changed and they have to either find themselves again or they have a few less people to look after them.
I love my friends, but these people aren't my friends. These people are slutty, stupid, acting-in-the-moment, mindless androids. I am not trying to be specifically mean or harsh, but it's true. It's not like I am saying these things about our friends, though, because our friends are lost. They have been replaced by the new generation of clones.
At BYCC, the theme was "This Generation Will..." and then they had all kinds of things. Change the world. Never be forgotten. Stuff like that. Looking at This Generation, I'm thinking it's true, but it's not positive like it should be. When there are so few decent people, how are we going to fix this world? (Obviously I don't mean that any more than two people could fix the world, but I mean people in general).
I'm thinking, 'Do I really want to live in a world where the bulk of the population is a type of person on whom morals and love are lost? 'Cause it's not just high school kids. This is what is happening to everyone. Everywhere. All over the place. I was pretty messed up(depresionwise) not long ago, and as soon as I was starting to feel better for the first time in years, this happens. I don't care about myself anymore. I feel awesome about myself. I actually feel BETTER than a lot of people.
I think out of all of us, Jene, you're the best. No matter what, you stick with the people you love. Everything you do seems to be in an effort to make us feel better. You are afraid of putting yourself before other because you don't want any of your friends to get hurt (it's okay to put yourself first though) and I think you're the sweetest person I've ever met. It's why I love you sooo much. When you're happy, you can just cheer anybody up. You can make anybody feel good. So please don't be sad. What happens is going to happen, so just stay on the sunny side. Just be proud of yourself (a good pride) and don't let other people's screw ups throw you off track. When they come around, they come around. No matter how long it takes. If they are worth it, they'll shape up. If they aren't, then they aren't who you loved. I know that you wont be influenced by them. I know how incredibly strong you are. But if you can't handle it, find the people you know will be there for you. I don't want you to feel like you HAVE to go to me, Maeve, Nick, or one of them. I just want you to feel like you can. I want you to feel like you can go to somebody and not look weak. Because you aren't. You never have been(for the time I've know you, at least) and I don't believe you ever will be. You're just one of those people that anybody can trust. It's just what you do. :)
I'm doing my best to be strong for you, and I'm doing my best to sort it all out in my own head. So don't ever feel alone if you're mad at or confused by these people. Don't ever change the way you are. We can't change these people, but I think we should be there for them when they turn around and see where they screwed up. When they turn around and see that we're waiting, I think they need to be able to walk along that path or shattered glass they've made and be our friends again. When they come around, I think we should be there. When our friends are back, we'll be waiting to welcome them (Prodigal Son-like). Right now, though, they're still lost breaking windows and walking on eggshells. A real friend, though, should be there when the masks are dragged off and these new, disgusting people are gone.
Just....please. Stop worrying about us, Jene. Just for now. It's our turn to be there for you. It our turn to be happy and try to cheer you up and that's what we're going to do. It's about time we did a little something to repay you for everything you've done for us.
This generation will destroy us if we don't stick together. This generation will tear down the walls and boundaries of decency and try to drag us in with them. This generation is lost.
I need a generation who can fight back. I need a generation who can stand up for themselves. I need a strong generation.
Now, more than ever, this generation needs to find God. I think that's it. I think they're all too lost to see him. They're crying out for attention and help, but they wont accept God. I think that's it. If they can find him and use his help, they will get better. I think that's it.
--Scottie: You always seem to put your trust in the ones you love, when you really should put your trust in the ones who still care for you when you dont love them enough.
14 comments:
Jene, I'd like to say that you've always cheered me up, I've never seen you do anything out of malice, and you've always been really nice to everyone.
Though it sounds corny:
Thanks for being you
true dat.
i hate when jene is sad it makes me feel really sad because when i am sad jene makes me happy.
and she is never mean to me.
Live by the laws, especially for you, the 8th: Deserve Victory.
A mountain of quartz will never outweigh a handful of diamonds.
Love from strength, Hate from weakness.
I believe you already know what else I would say.... but... LOVE YOU!
-The Hero of the Day, says "goodbye," as we dance with the Devil tonight...
everybody needs to chillax. nobody is being whorish. nobody is betraying their morals, innocence, god, the church, or each other. come on now! its drama club. crap always goes down at the cast party!
Of course you'd be anonymous. You aren't in any position to say something like that. Do you know what's going on in everyone's lives? I think not. You know what? Not everything involves you, "Anonymous," and not everything is about the drama club. You don't know what you are talking about. THis post was about suicide. It was about love, it was about confusion, and it was about society in general. Just in case you didn't get it when I said that plain and clear, it isn't JUST about us. So, no. We aren't gonna "chillax" (nice vocabulary, by the way) because nothing is okay right now. Alright? Everything sucks. It might just not be about YOU. Jene and I have friends I'm sure you don't know. It's about them. We have friends you DO know who are situations you aren't aware of and it's about them too.
Get over yourself.
all I can really say is... oh my god. you have no idea how much this means to me and how much I needed somebody to say this. when you showed it to me at break today, I couldn't stop crying and I would've cried longer if I could. I really needed to cry this weekend and I'm really really glad I did. oh my god it was SO hard holding all of these complications inside. I can't even remember everything I've been upset about because there's just too much. I just love everyone so much and they were always depressed and I really just wished that my love could solve their problems cuz it is so strong.
Also, I always considered myself an incredibly weak person. To hear you say that you thought I was one of the strongest people you know was... almost unbearable. It just hit me so hard and everthing just started to come out once again. OMG I love everyone SO MUCH.
at the cast party I was outside talking to you and I just started to bawl. The line disconnected soon after my break down, but Nick (Langan)was there and I just cried on him for about 5 minutes and he just held me and it was one of the most comforting things I've ever felt (besides this letter thing). It made me want to cry more cuz right then and there was the only time I ever really knew that he loved me. Then I went to Steve's car and I just talked with him for an hour and that was incredibly relaxing. I really needed to talk to him and it made me feel much better.
I don't think that I'm all the way better yet, but this is really really helping me. Thank you so much for posting this. I love you guys with all my heart.
--Jene Clare Andrews
the chillax person is not james paul. trust me. although i think the use of the generation stuff was overdone scottie. remember what mike patin said about forgiveness....and everything else. sure people make stupid decisions but its their choice and we shouldnt condemn them for one action out of a history of good ones. especially if they are your friends. people need to communicate not blog it up. feelings are hurt, friendships endangered, and that aint right. so thats about it. have a nice day and remember hugh and only hugh can prevent florist friars
Excuse me? IT doesn't involve, yet its a broad generalization? EVERYONE's life sucks! It's not people in particular. But if coming to school on monday with everyone pissed off isn't any of my business I'm sorry. Hey, I think it's stupid to hook up with stupid people. But there you are. . .
I think it takes some nerve to cite a Catholic youth conference while trashing your friends online without even realizing how hurtful it could be. Everything sucked before, is it any better now?
Anonymous: READ! What the hell am I saying? I am saying that I don't fucking know these people! These aren't the people I became friends with, I am NOT trashing my friends! I am TRASHING the people USING their bodies until they find their way back to who they WERE! Maybe I AM the stupid one. Maybe I am pissed off for no reason. Maybe it only matters to ONE PERSON that I still love them and all of my friends. So, you know what? Maybe I should just get the hell out of your way. Would that make you happy? How about I disappear like I wanted to weeks ago. That way, people can STOP being pissed off at me, they can STOP taking what I say the wrong way, they can STOP putting words in my mouth, and they can CALM DOWN. This was for Jene. She knows. She knows what I am talking about and who I am NOT talking about. So just shut up because you don't.
Everything sucked before, and no. It's not better now. It WAS, but now, I'm not better now. I hope Jene is since she is the only person who can acknowledge the truth. And she's the only person who actually care about me.
You claim that this post was for Jene, but if it were just for Jene, you could have just written her a letter--a private one. No, this post was for everyone to read. Admit that you wanted everbody to read this, and that you WERE talking about specific people, and that you DID hurt those people. It's noble to want to make someone feel better when they need you; it's completely ugly to do it at the expense of your other friends.
You must have misread. Or maybe you just want to pick another fight. I said it was for Jene. Not ONLY for Jene. It was just mainly for her because she was the only one at the time who needed it. She was one of the two people talking to me about anythiing other than boys, okay?
I agree with you on that last thing. Except for the fact that this wasn't supposed to be at the expense of my other 'friends!' YOU made it that! Next time, before you twist my words to mean what you think they mean(just to make me look like the worlds biggest ass) ASK ME WHAT I MEAN! I have enough people that hate me. You just made more. And tell me who the hell you two anonymous people are. Cowards.
I only wanted people to hear me. I apologize if anybody got hurt, but it's not my fault. I can do stupid things, but this wasn't one of them. Get that straight. I only wanted to help and everyone else only wanted to tear me to shreds for attacking them when I DIDN'T DO THAT. I didn't name anybody in particular because i didnt' MEAN anybody in particular. I'm not out to get you, okay? I just want to make everything better. But I can't. So what the hell am I doing here? I make everthing worse, I guess. Would you rather I just disappear? I have no problem with that. There are a total of seven people at school who don't hate me right now when there used to be at least twenty. I was trying to avoid everyone hating me like they did before. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my life. I'm not being a fucking drama queen, I know what you anonymous people are going to say. You're going to say I'm blowing it out of proportion. I'm not. You don't talk to me, you wont talk to me to get the whole story, and so you just don't get it. I tried ot help Jene and it just made ME worse. So you can go and help your 'hurt' friends and stop trying to make me feel like less of a person. There's nothing more you can do. Somebody else beat you to it.
--scottie: i never ever meant to hurt you. i only did what i had to.
scottie~
I have only known you for a few months, I guess you could say. I really dont know you at all actually that well, since I sometimes hang out with you guys.
I dont know what went on with all of you guys many months ago, but Im just gonna tell you that that stuff that you said about Jene to help her cheer her up was beautiful. I almost began to cry. You are a true friend, and anyone who tells you other wise is a dumbass. Your right, this generation is screwed up. It spends half of its time hiding behind masks ((like you said)) trying to follow and fit in with the improper things this society has mislead us to be right and moral. Sometimes we change so many times to try and decide which mask is correct, which isnt, to try and find the true way to live ((if that makes any sense))and in the end, all we do is end up hurting people. The struggle right now is trying to find who you are, how you want to express yourself, and alot of the times people do and find themselves in the wrong way. I must admit that I have and do fall victim to this continual mask problem, but you know, your right. Only God is the true answer. Becuase when you act according to how he wishes us to do and how we are taught by him too, only we and those around us are happy. But the struggle: willing to stand up for our faith in living it daily, and not being afraid to express it. Yet again: God vs. society. . . and you ask these people: you choose.
Much love always girlie
~laurian
nobody hates you. i never did, and i'm pretty sure i wasn't included in the "seven." and of everybody, i probably should be the angry one. apparantly, you no longer consider me a friend... which hurts because i always considered you one. ppl don't do things with the intention of hurting others... i've been afraid to read this because i didn't want to know how much ppl got hurt and what ppl were telling the world about their former "friends." i think this whole affair, beginning to now, is rly middleschoolish, and while i can never rly think of you as the friend i once thought you were, i'll always love you. and i forgive you. and i hope that whoever i hurt, totally without any knowledge, will forgive me. and in the future, if girls are feeling betrayed/worried/whatever about their friends, i hope they confront them in the face, and talk about the problem so shit like this won't happen again.
--Can't bring herself to say her name...
ps. before you go yelling at ppl about abandoning God and grasping for attention, stop contemplating and talking about suicide. we all love you. and if you are getting upset that this generation is "crying out for attention and help, but wont accept God," then stop being hypocritical, have some humility, and take a serious look at the "sucky" parts of your life. i'm willing to bet that there's some ppl, not far from where you live, that have bigger problems than you. and then thank God for that.
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