Sunday, January 07, 2007

You live the life you're given with the storms outside

Ugh. I need somebody to complain to. But I can't complain to anyone 'cause it has to do with everyone. So here. Just so it's not just one person.

Everyone is happy and that's great. I think it's brilliant. Really. But I just feel so out of the loop. Everyone is talking about how much they love their boyfriends and girlfriends and they tell me their problems and want me to help fix them. (Not everyone, just some.)

I'm kind of tired of it. I wouldn't change anything about my friends though 'cause they are finally happy. I just am not included. I mean, you all can say, "Oh, yeah, Scottie, we love you." till you're blue in the face, but it's not the same. Everyone has had somebody that they can run to and talk to, like, no matter what. They have had someone who genuinely cared about them and made them feel special. I'm completely out of the loop on that.

So when I seem antisocial, it's more or less me not wanting to feel like the awkward afterthought anymore. Now I have to get some sleep so I can do well on my English exam, but I just needed to say this for everyone.

I'm not going to not hang out with you guys anymore, but maybe not so much. I'm kind of tired of everybody ripping little pieces out of my heart so they can use them.


---Scottie: I wont let this get me. I will fight. You life the life you're given with the storms outside...sometimes all I do is watch the sky.

1 comment:

JessTea said...

Scottie,
You're not an awkward afterthought. And if it makes you feel better the "loop" you're supposedly left out of isn't all it's cracked up to be...trust me. Not everyone is happy either....I don't know about everyone else but when I'm really sad or really upset I over compensate by acting really happy. Sure it's cowardly, but it's just part of who I am and how I cope with things. Then other times I do express my emotions (although I don't like to). But I'm sorry if I've taken a piece of your heart. But I do consider you one of my best friends, and I do love you (even if you didn't want ot hear it).

<3Jess:Why can't we seem to keep it together?