I Could Write It Better Than You Ever Felt It::My Pen Is The Barrel Of A Gun

To anybody who people said couldn't make it:

I felt bad, again, not having anything to write about. But I was thinking a little. Just a little. And I am glad that I didn't have much to write about. I realized that what I used to write about all the time was teen-drama, car crash hearts, and things. I wonder why I wrote it, though. I don't know if I thought I would fix things or not, but I don't think I really did much of anything anyway. So I think I'll stop trying so hard to do something with it. It's petty, stupid stuff that I can't fix in a blog. Or in 45, if you are getting my refrences. Although, 45 makes sense, sort of, as "Fix me in 45" refers to therapy sessions. (That's generally the duration according to Peter in Rolling Stone.)

I've found the safest place to keep all of my mistakes.
Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update.
So long live the car crash hearts.
Lie on the couch 'til the poets come to life.
Fix me in 45.

Do you think he means that the car crash hearts are really poets and they just need a little help getting there? I was talking to somebody the other day about sad songs. I think there are a lot of sad songs because it's so much easier to put sadness, frustration, and general negativiity into words. It's easier to say when you aren't good or you're sad. (And I know I sound like a little kid, but I don't care.)

In that song, I feel like he is saying the same thing. He can keep all of his secrets and mistakes and everything he has experienced online so that everyone can see it and appreciate it, I guess. I mean, that's what I do, in a way. And if it's the story about a car crash heart, the poet inside of them can write it eloquently enough to put it online for everyone and maybe it will fix something. When he says "Lie on the couch 'til the poets come to life. Fix me in 45," it's saying that you kind of just have to wait around for that inspiration or whatever you hit you and then the poet inside will, uhh, come to life. Obviously.

I can take your problems away
With a nod and a wave
Of my hand
'Cause that's just the kind of boy that I am

(Well, I am not a boy, but...) I wish I could do that. I wish I was good enough to help people. To fix their problems that easily. I can't really do that, though. Not until I know what I am talking about. And that will never happen. But unless I know everything, I can't help people without "cry(ing) on the couch until the poets come to life."
"It's much easier not to know things sometimes. An to have french fries with your mom be enough." - Stephen Cbosky

The only thing I've haven't done yet is die
And it's me and my plus one at the afterlife
I mean, I'd phrase it differently, in my own words and all, but I like how they said it so much better. I feel bad for that.

Crowds are won and lost and won again
But our hearts beat for the diehards

The diehards are obviously people who have stuck with them. So, for the band, their fans, I guess. But for me, the diehards are the people who still read my blog after two years. And, of course, the ones who will continue to read it no matter how much it sucks.

So I didn't mean to analyze this song, but I kind of ended up doing that, didn't I? Hmm...well, maybe you will have a new appreciation of it. It isn't just about smashing critics and bandwagon fans if you think about it.

I guess my point was: I am glad I don't write much anymore. It means that there is less I am beaing eaten alive by. And my friends, too. It usually means they are doing okay.

I wrote the gospel on giving up.

We don't fight fair,
---Mary rebecca: Bury me standing under your window with the cinder block in hand. Yeah, 'cause no one will ever feel like this again.

we're the new face of failure.


"I don't know. I just had a great day. I hope you did, too." - Charlie. :]