come on, kid. look at what you did.

I don't like to see my friends unhappy. I don't like being helpless to fix it. I don't feel like I do much for people and as much as someone may say to the contrary, it's not what I am looking for so I'm not going to accept it. Just to get that out of the way.

Sometimes there are people who I think just deserve to be happy. I mean, JUST happy. Once you go through enough, you have paid your dues and should be happy.

There is this really amazing person and they have been dealing with a lot. I don't know the whole of it, but even what I know is a lot. And I really hope they can just be happy when everything settles. Even if it's just for a while.

There is this other awesome person who seems to only dig deeper into this mess of confusion and misery and craziness. And I think there oughta be a ladder at the bottom.

I don't know why either chooses to be friends with me, but they do. And I am blessed for that. Because they really ARE a blessing to anybody. I hope they realize that. I'll pray that they realize that.

Some people don't deserve too much pain, but that doesn't stop it from coming. And it seems pessimistic, but I don't believe God is testing you. I don't believe that he is giving people these burdens because he knows they can handle them. I know that they wouldn't be overburdened if He had anything to say about it, but that's different. God isn't doing this to people. God doesn't do things to cause us pain. People always accept that God acts on Earth. He acts in small ways like happy moments, and he acts in huge ways like miracles. Why, then, do people only see Satan in the big things he does like Possessions and Ouija boards? He does little stuff too.

I'm not saying natural calamities and death and things are works of Satan, that's ridiculous. I am simply saying that it shouldn't be forgotten that evil is very present so you can't just blame God.

When bad stuff happens, don't worry about it. If you are hurt by it, remind yourself that it's for a higher purpose. I believe that the purpose something has is always served. And once it is, it's time to go and make room. It's time for people to start to go over what has been achieved in the lifetime of whatever it is that passed on.

I don't think that made sense.

---Scottie: you can't kill heroes.