She never slows down

Senior retreat isn't something I can put into words.
Once I get the video of the skit, though, that will come directly here.

Basically, what I have to say is this: As much as I try not to, I have always judged people. And I like my friends and I am totally comfortable with them and we don't judge each other. It took my small group (specifically Cecelia, Stacy, and Nina) to show me that I judge people. I never really thought about it before. I went into my discussion groups, though, thinking, "oh geez. why did Ms Harkins give me these people for my group?" But you know, I think God made it that way so that I would come to the realization that these girls are all awesome. And they were the ones that I really, really did not get along with. but we talked about everything that there is to talk about. And some of them cried and we all wrote affirmation cards for each other and it was just....weird. I like everyone in my class. I know about them and I get them. So that's pretty great.

Anyway. That's what I think was the most important thing that I got out of this. I don't have a problem with anybody in my class. Not Claire, not Abbey, nobody.


The skit. The song is so amazing. I think that my favorite lines are "She won't make a sound. Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down. She wants to be found. The only way out is through everything she's running from. She wants to give up and lie down." In the skit, that's when the girl is running into the magazines and they are trying to change how she looks. But I think the words are kind of hopeful. I told this to a few friends and my small group. I think that they are so hopeful because I know that I am not in that situation. And none of us are. All any of us have to do is shout out for help when we fall down and there is someone to help. We can shout out too. I don't think any of us are afraid now. Like, of anything. We will give each other what we need.

And nothing you guys could ever do could make me love you less.

---Scottie: stand through your pain. you wont drown. and one day, what's lost can be found.

on a long enough line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero.

"May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. Deliver me, Tyler, from being perfect and complete."

I finished some work. My mommy says I have to quit my job. This morning, I had everything done. Everything was under control and I was breathing normally. My eyes were clear and my mascara was on my eyelashes. I guess "At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves."

"Nothing was solved when the fight was over, but nothing mattered."

I don't like the yearbook editors. Don't tell them that i said that.
I think that they are selfish, rude, and condescending.
I feel like an idiot during meetings when Mrs. James asks me special questions because I'm not saying anything. But I mean, I don't want to interrupt and incur the wrath of Lo or Melissa.

"It's only after you've lost everything," Tyler says, "that you're free to do anything."

I started Peter's hat. Peter. Right. Peter doesn't read my blog so that doesn't matter.

I don't know what to do for homecoming. I supposed I'll just go with Sarah See.
My dress is so cute though.
I want to take someone and take pictures and have fun.
And I want them to not forget to come like Evan did until we called him.
I'd like that.
A stress-free dance.
Well, stress-free aside from the fact that I need to go out and buy shoes and a necklace and stuff to make my dress wearble. NYAAA.


i am purchasing knee-high converse and some high tops. i dont know which colors to get.

i am bored. i am exhausted. i am going to sleep early if i can.

nylons. i have nylons.

---Scottie: I just don't want to die without a few scars.

no one can find the rewind button, boy.

I feel poopy. I can't wait until I have a weekend off or something. Or a day. Or half of a day. I need half of a day. I can't sleep because I need to sleep so badly. My back hurts and my legs wont stop aching. I feel bad again. Whiny. Complainy.

I have a new favorite song. Just for the moment. It's called "Moses" and it's by Love Arcade.

"Break Myself" and "Lua" still win though.

I took the SATs. I think I did okay. Which means I probably got a 200.Or maybe a 203.

I don't have any time to knit. It sucks. I need to make these hats. I need to make this hat.

And I am sad. And bad. And smad. And just asdfghjkl;.

I am sleepy peachy, according to Tony.

This is what Mrs. Lowe would call a stream of consciousness, I think. I think that's what it is. That's redundant.

My eyes are sore and my neck is stiff. My ankles hurt and my complexion is terrible. I am low on makeup and snickers minis. I need my authentic hat and snickers.

Yep.

"to be safe we lose our choice of ever knowing."

I need a senior quote.

"Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on high. then, life seems almost enchanted after all."

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."

"When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves"

"What's coming will come and we'll meet it when it does."

---Scottie: all that's left has gone away and there's nothing there for you to prove